06 March 2006

right, ok, so it's . . .

. . . fine - i'm over it now. honest. show's over folks, there's nothing to see here

i know they say this kind of crap to everyone, but they did say that it was a very difficult decision, blah blah and that they were really impressed with my enthusiasm and the amount of research that i had done, etc (too bloody right)

and they would like to meet with me later this week to provide personal and detailed feedback. which is good, i guess - i've never heard of anyone else doing that. but i suppose they may feel they have to in order to preserve relations and that. hmm, i seem unable to work out a way to spell the sound i am making

the biggest disappointment is the overall long-term picture here; this could have really been the catalyst for my continual visa issues. not could have - would have, i'm quite sure

but of course things '
happen as they are meant to', of which i am aware, yet still wonder if perhaps someone is trying to tell me something and i need to give up this ridiculous battle of finding a way to stay here. i don't even have fun anymore, because i'm so concerned about how i'm going to eat and finish this stupid degree, which will only result in my having to leave. what's the point, then?


i might also add the oddness of the comment on the phone (from caller) of 'well, thank you for taking the news so well' - how the plucking pluck hell else am i going to bloody
take it at that precise moment while he's still there on the phone?

now if i only i had someone to take me out for a nice evening on the town . . .

Current mood: indifferent
Currently listening:
Under the Big Black Sun By X

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