strangers on a . . .

. . . train

at around 23.30 this evening, when i was about to get on a piccadilly line train - having taken the circle line from baker street to kings cross - a girl got off the piccadilly train who i had seen about 11hrs earlier on the westbound circle/hammersmith/metropolitan platform. how kooky is that? in a city of millions. this kind of thing happens to me at least a couple of times a year

i recognised the girl in question because she was wearing a super fab little green skirt with little white dots on it; i'd been tempted this morning to ask her where she'd got it. wonder if she recognised me as well - i felt like she looked at me for an extra second when she passed, but that doesn't mean it actually happened. how many people notice other people in their usual commute?

i remember when the bombings happened, and reading various accounts of train passengers after the fact. i recall one of them saying something like 'after the bomb went off, sat opposite me in the carriage was the girl who i'd seen nearly every day for the past several months - i'd always wondered about her' (she ended up either dead/passed out/lost limb/similar - i can't remember)

but of course people do notice, even though most would prefer to pretend they don't. funny thing - one has no idea if the person they've seen every day for 3 years - yet to whom they offer no recognition - could well be their next best mate or partner. interesting thought...

which reminds me of when i first started my blog, and the friends i met on the old thameslink commute that i used to take each day . . . so just a little side note, for those keeping score - the lady whom i called june back in 2004 ended up meeting a guy when she and i were commuting friends - they both work for a rail company and would bump into each other at monthly meetings - he seemed to fancy her (he brought her biccies to one meeting!) but she was: 1) blind to it 2) in denial

see, he was white and she was black and it had never occurred to her that this was something that could happen. she was also in her late 30s with two kids and a truly rotten ex-partner, and/so she felt she was finished with all that love stuff, and couldn't possibly ever meet anyone, bless her. he also had a long-term partner with whom he was in the middle of splitting - so dear june was adamant and cautious about keeping her distance

however, through various trials and tribulations, they eventually: started dating, meeting each others' kids and parents, going on holiday, moving in together, getting engaged, planning a wedding for august 2006 (which is hopefully still happening, since i've not been in touch with her since before christmas!)

all together now for the big sigh - ahhhh


Currently reading: All Men Have Secrets, edited by Tom Gallagher

right, ok, so it's . . .

. . . fine - i'm over it now. honest. show's over folks, there's nothing to see here

i know they say this kind of crap to everyone, but they did say that it was a very difficult decision, blah blah and that they were really impressed with my enthusiasm and the amount of research that i had done, etc (too bloody right)

and they would like to meet with me later this week to provide personal and detailed feedback. which is good, i guess - i've never heard of anyone else doing that. but i suppose they may feel they have to in order to preserve relations and that. hmm, i seem unable to work out a way to spell the sound i am making

the biggest disappointment is the overall long-term picture here; this could have really been the catalyst for my continual visa issues. not could have - would have, i'm quite sure

but of course things 'happen as they are meant to', of which i am aware, yet still wonder if perhaps someone is trying to tell me something and i need to give up this ridiculous battle of finding a way to stay here. i don't even have fun anymore, because i'm so concerned about how i'm going to eat and finish this stupid degree, which will only result in my having to leave. what's the point, then?

blech

i might also add the oddness of the comment on the phone (from caller) of 'well, thank you for taking the news so well' - how the plucking pluck hell else am i going to bloody take it at that precise moment while he's still there on the phone?

now if i only i had someone to take me out for a nice evening on the town . . .


Current mood: indifferent
Currently listening: Under the Big Black Sun By X

i did not get the job

advised - 4.48pm - 6 march 2006

off to cry now


Current mood: disappointed

just in case i wanted to . . .

. . . embarrass myself further, following the meeting with the boss lady the other day

today i came in to do some things at work. i look terrible. i mean, terrible. mind you, i'm showered with clean hair, make-up and such but really poor effort on what i am wearing and the overall look. but it's sunday, for boo-boo's sake

so when going to my office, who's coming down the stairs, as i'm going up? yes, that's right. boss lady again. timing was of course everything - since it's so lovely out, i had brought my camera along to take some photos to show non-uk'ers where i work and such. had i gone right instead of left when deciding what pics to take, i wouldn't have run into her

she smiled, as if she realised she had seen me before. i should have just done the same and carried on. but nooooooooooooo, i had to be a complete goon and immediately say that we met the other day in the loo when i'd burnt my hand, and i'm sorry about that (why was i sorry? i have no idea!), and by the way, i wanted to say before that i am being currently considered for the dubai job. oh dear - 'nutter', she must be thinking, 'thanks for the warning'

but she just sort of 'oh, i was just working on that, where do you work now?'. not sure how involved she is with the set-up, but guessing completely, and perhaps she has seen the interview notes from friday! which is ok, i guess, considering how it went

i digress, as usual

why can i sometimes say terribly brilliant and clever things straight off the mark when encountering someone unexpectedly, yet in this instance(s), behave like such a ninny!

in other news, we are having some major building works done at work over coming months; yesterday, some temporary builder/worker-man huts went up in the car park (pic coming soon); they were installing them when I came in yesterday. because of their positioning, we and they will be able to look straight into each others' windows at will for the next seven months. that’ll be comfy

but didn't his mummy . . .

. . . ever do this?

was just queuing behind a chap (aged late30s-early40s?) in a little shop; behind the til, they were about to put some cookie dough into the little oven, in order to (obviously) bake the special cookies they sell

chappy saw the bag with all the little dough dollops and said something to the effect of 'blimey, they're so small!!!! is that really how they start out?!?!'; he was in absolute amazement. i even said to him 'have you not ever made cookies or biscuits or seen how it's done?'; he hadn't and was in pure awe

he said 'but how do they get so big, then, and how do they come out flat - do you put something on top of them while they're cooking?’ bless the poor little man who i wanted to pat on the head

didn't his mummy or granny ever make him chocie chip cookies? such deprivation...

ok, so i had . . .

. . . the interview today

it is but to laugh...i experienced so much anguish over my covering letter and cv (which i suppose has been to my advantage) as well as reading a ridiculous amount of background information*, competitor-related stuff, dreading the 'tell us about a time you provided good customer service' or 'what kind of tree would you be' questions

[*i seriously turned up with a categorised binder full of my research and a notebook full of questions and comments, monica's-wedding-book styley; surely i frightened both chaps with this]

i didn't even receive the full job description until last evening, so what was included there didn't get as much preparation as it should have (or, er, it's ok now that it didn't. oh never mind, just read on)

so the laughing bit - my interview:

1) started 25mins late, as the other candidate was still in there when i knocked on the door - whoops - didn't get a look at the person, though

2) lasted about 20mins. one might think this is a bad thing, since it should have gone for an hour or so. fortunately, my application had pretty much spoken for itself (if i do say so myself, ahem)

3) was given by two people i already knew. phew

4) involved absolutely none of what i had researched

5) was inclusive of me being terribly charming and saying lots of clever things; therefore

6) went brilliantly!

i wasn't hit with any adverse questions, nor did we much talk about anything in the job description; since the job would entail helping to set up an entire new office, it was more about how would i implement this and that. thought i'd been caught out at one point when i'd said there were aspects of it that may be daunting, and one of them asked me 5mins later what i'd meant by that. whoops. tut tut, fluff fluff

as i answered some of the questions, they nodded vigorously and all but seemed to be helping me to answer the slightly difficult ones. they kept looking at each other and raising their eyebrows and nodding (in a good way). 'cool', methinks, 'it's going as well as i think it is'

i might also add that I was looking super fabo in my profesho suit and heels

they then said that everything i was saying was great, jolly good, spot on, etc. and/but that they thought i was overqualified for the role, and wanted to re-think the situation since there are only two roles for the project - director and coordinator/administrator (i'm ok with low level for a few months!). they want to have a think and come back to me after they do director interviews on monday. they can't possibly think i am qualified to be a director, can they!? whew. and in a role that requires an mba and xx years of experience in the particular industry (two things i do not have - nor do i even feel ready for such an undertaking)

perhaps a change of job titles would suffice. and salary of course! worst case, reckon, is that they decide i am over-qualified for one, under-qualified for the other, and go with someone(s) else entirely. but now they know what i am potentially capable of, something for them to remember next time something fab comes up. mind you, the dubai one could help me to get my prize visa, whereas another opportunity would not. drat

right then - speed type - back to work

Current mood: accomplished

Currently listening: Different Class By Pulp